Work, But Make It Toxic

Working from home was supposed to feel liberating. Instead, I’m a bathrobe-clad hostage in my own kitchen, spying on suburban affairs and losing my grip on reality—one Zoom call at a time.

If your company thinks a ropes course will fix broken trust, congratulations — you’re in a workplace cult. Here’s my firsthand guide to toxic team building activities, and why the only thing they’ve built is my will to quit.

My first job after film school ended with a toxic performance review that blamed my “listening skills.” Twenty-five years later, I’ve realized it wasn’t about performance—it was about power. Here’s how to turn that kind of feedback into content (and revenge).

I was thirty, filming the Secretary of Defense in Arlington Cemetery, when he wandered off mid-shoot and saluted the wrong funeral. I ended up sprinting over headstones trying to catch him—and somewhere between panic and gravitas, I had a life changing moment.

I went to a Wafle House at 4 a.m. and watched a kitchen worker celebrate a new pot like it was a promotion. Her manager forced a smile so tight I thought he’d rupture something. This is what early morning kitchen jobs do to people.

I didn’t mean to become the office villain. But when the revolution is televised in HD, sometimes the traitor is just the guy who refuses to mute.

Forget yelling—real professionals sabotage through Outlook. Learn how to master passive aggressive work communication using calendar invites that confuse, control, and quietly ruin someone’s week.

Corporate retreats are like Hunger Games with name tags. Learn how to survive the trust falls, icebreakers, and emotional hostage-taking with this darkly funny guide to faking enthusiasm and escaping with your job—and dignity—intact.

Looking busy is an art form—one that involves fake meetings, dramatic Zoom nods, and the occasional sigh while staring at a spreadsheet. This dark comedy guide reveals how to master corporate camouflage and survive your job without actually doing it.

I used ChatGPT to do 70% of my job and accidentally became the most “productive” person in the office. Here’s how I outsmarted the system using polite-sounding nonsense.

Professionalism is just rage in a collared shirt. Here are five email phrases that let you hate someone’s guts—without breaching HR policy.