Love, Sex & Other Horrible Ideas

A darkly hilarious confession from a dad who realized he’s technically a reproductive war criminal. Because when you create life, you also annihilate a billion others—and nobody gives you a ribbon for that.

I spent $3,000 on a productivity coach who told me to wake up at 5 a.m., chant about abundance, and walk barefoot in a parking lot. Spoiler: it didn’t fix my life. If you’re tempted to pay someone to shame you into hustle culture, read this first.

Working from home was supposed to feel liberating. Instead, I’m a bathrobe-clad hostage in my own kitchen, spying on suburban affairs and losing my grip on reality—one Zoom call at a time.

Yes, I once drove a car without A/C in 90-degree heat just to save $400. And yes, I asked a woman to split the bill on our first date. These are my regrets—also known as “extreme frugality stories.”

I accidentally joined a gay pride parade while trying to cross the street. What followed was glitter, confusion, unsolicited hugs, and a brief but intense crisis about whether straight pride should be a thing (it shouldn’t).

We’ve all made questionable choices at the grocery store—but some weird grocery store purchases cross into full-blown psychological thriller territory. This is one man’s descent into checkout shame, featuring bananas, Vaseline, and a grocery clerk who silently judged it all.

I went on a date with a woman who never made eye contact, had eyelashes like bird wings, and believed pigeons were government surveillance drones. Honestly? The margaritas were the most grounded part of the night.

A deep dive into loneliness, gym thirst traps, and the quiet eroticism of carbonated beverages. Do you like Itfrumbehine? I picked up the...